Last day in Australia; hugs, tears, laughter and fears

 On the 4^th of May (Last night in Australia) got to go out for tea and went out to karaoke with Hayley, Sarah, Tess and I always So much fun, Belted out some Vanessa Amorosi.  

 

So then the next morning it was the 5^th of May, and started the day with a beautiful bunch of people, my people!

We got up early (5.30am) after going to bed about 1am. Travelled to a watch tower to watch the sunrise 3 of us (David, Sam and I) watched through cloud and fog, waiting for the others to arrive and they did but sadly after the sun had arrived. I enjoyed laughing and taking blinding photos in the freezing fresh air with these beautiful people :D. We then gave into our coldness and left and enjoyed a last breakfast together at acute little cafe.

 

And just to make the day a little bit more special, someone had discovered that my little town had that very day opened a comic book store!! :D AND it was free comic book day, meaning they gave everyone who wanted one a selection of 2 comic books. We arrived and I was So excited :D I usually had to travel to minotaur in Melbourne to get any comic books but here there were in my town, and the day I leave. However great reading material for the plane!

Drama; get ready to go, finally weigh my bag and discover it is something like 10kgs more than I need it to be. And I don’t leave myself enough time to repack before it is time to leave. And to make things worse just as I am leaving I bump into someone who finds out I am about to leave for South Africa and continues to tell me all about the risks, and pretty much saying ¾ of girls my age that go over there go missing, get raped or murdered!! THANKS. But he ended saying that he saying he hopes I have a great time but to be safe. 

So I get the airport and I am to meet my team of 20 at a particular check in point and I still haven’t repacked my bag so I open my bag in to boot and begin to chuck things out here and there and with the help of Michael, Hayley and My mum. We got rid of some unneeded items from suitcase (a pair of thongs/flip flops which I ended up needing) and set off to meet everyone waiting for me inside the airport. We meet up and I reweigh my bag and it reads 25.5kg and limit is 23kg. But thankfully we paired up and I was pair with a guy with a bag of 16kg!! And we checked in and got our tickets and we very slowly made our ways to the terminal. And man did I have a big see off party of people because the rest of my team were only going for 3 weeks they all had 1-2 relatives each to see off whereas I had my mum, dad, Alex (sister) and he boyfriend Josh, Liam (brother), Hayley, Michael, Tess, James and JJ, so I had 10 people. We went through security and said bye to Tess, James, Alex, Josh, and JJ. Then it was time to board hugged mum, Michael, Hayley, Liam and Dad. Even it was hard I had a peace, but when I hugged dad he hugged me back and he said, “You know now I can’t let you go.” But he reluctantly let me go and pushed me in the direction of the line. I walked tears strolling down my cheeks talking steps further and further away from comfort, my family but walking towards my home, and a new family. 

 

I got on the plane and took a deep breath and I was alone no one next to me and it gave me the space I needed to collect my thoughts and to be emotional and to spend time processing it with God.     

This is it..... The adventure begins.

Africa .... tap, tap, tap, Ask Me; Hands At Work :D

So I finished up work on the 31^st of December 2010. I began my year of trusting in God and going deeper into him. 

I was able to spend the whole of January not working because I got a big pay out for not using holiday and sick pay. Which meant I was able to go to a youth camp that I had lead on the year before, without worrying about paying for rent which was an amazing blessing.

And then I started my Hey Dee Ho work and applied for a couple of centres to do casual work. And ended up with 3 centre's to do work, which was great to see 3 ways of doing it differently.

There was times when I wasn’t sure how to pay my rent but God kept reminding me of how big and faithful he is and reminding me to trust and he taught me what it meant when it’s says – may the Joy of the Lord be your strength.   

And I attended the small group call Mission Next and heard people speak about their overseas mission experience and Ben a friend of mine shared about his experience about going to Africa with an organisation called hands at work and I cried the whole time through. Then at about the 3 or 4 meeting, we prayed for a friend of mine called Meg who was going to do mission stuff with YWAM (Youth With A Mission) in Canada for 3 months to train and then spend another 3 months in a developing country. So she was leaving for 6 months to do mission stuff, which was so exciting. And as part of how we have our group we eat together and chat and then we hear from someone and so during this night I was talking to a couple about God giving me a heart for Africa and the vulnerable children in Africa. And explained that I had quit time work to get focused on overseas mission and to develop and deepen my relationship with God and to trust him deeper. And I explain how I know God will call me back to Africa but I didn’t know when or how that would look like but was just waiting and I heard their story and it was a beautiful time. 

And when the conversation ended I almost felt like God was tapping on my shoulder and said, “Ask me now”

So I quickly closed my eyes and ask God, what do you want to tell me? And the words, “Hands at Work” popped into my head, I almost physically saw them. And knew I had to speak to either Ben or his wife Dani who had done trips with Hands at Work before. I walked up to Ben said, “Hi” and his response was, “Hi, We are taking a trip to Africa next year, you’re coming right? I thinking I had to almost pick up my gapping jaw, and mutter uh ha, with the biggest smile on my face. 

Then just jokingly Ben said, “ I could see us dumping you in Africa and coming home and having explain to my parents that I wasn’t with them anymore I wouldn’t leave Africa.” We both laughed and then I begun thinking actually I want this to happen!! I don’t want to experience another 3 or 4 week glimpse of Africa I want to go over there and do something, I want to serve and get my hands dirty.

That night I went home and properly checked out the hands at work website and began to cry, having the feeling that this is it; this is what I have been waiting for, for the last 2-3 years. I fit into the puzzle for years I had this calling to go back to Africa to serve and so many organisations need really qualified people and here I was a young childcare worker with this huge desire to come to Africa to love the people/children and the serve and that is what hands is all about partnering with churches all over world and calling people to come and serve and to be Jesus hands and feet. So I sat there weeping in front of the computer screen and I saw that it took volunteers for 3 months or 6 months and I could come for honestly either one, I was thinking 3 months is longer than 3 weeks but God was prompting me and I really felt he wanted me to apply for at least 6 months. So I after prayful consideration I applied for 6 months in Africa. 

And running with the theme of having a song to every entry here is my song

 I will follow - Chris Tomlin

Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow...

All your ways are good
All your ways are sure
I will trust in you alone
Higher than my side
High above my life
I will trust in you alone

Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow you
Who you love, I'll love
How you serve I'll serve
If this life I lose, I will follow you
I will follow you

Light unto the world
Light unto my life
I will live for you alone
You're the one I seek
Knowing I will find
All I need in you alone, in you alone

In you there's life everlasting
In you there's freedom for my soul
In you there joy, unending joy
and I will follow

And Parachute Band – Saviour of the broken heart

VERSE1

Saviour of the broken heart

You bring healing to the torn apart

Teach us how to live your call

That our worship will bring love to all

 PRE-CHORUS

With your word inside our heart

Your leading us to show your love

CHORUS

King of hope, sacrificed your own life

Giving all a second chance

Break our hearts to see the need in this world

King of hope your kingdom come

VERSE 2

Freedom comes from knowing you

Our desire is for you to move

Compassion rests within your bride

Who are we to not have shined its light

BRIDGE

So this is our worship, to go where you lead

To love without measure, to clothe and to feed

I love and adore you, my hearts beating for you

I take up the cost, to carry the lost

Leap of faith and walk on the water

Ok, a month later (October 2010) I got an opportunity to go to Willow Creeks World Leadership Summit/Conference and with no reference to the topic of  the speaker, God spoke to me, he said, “this past 2 years have been a time in the desert, but you have remained faithful. This next season I’m leading you into is a time in the harvest. So I want you to quit your full time job, apply for and work for ‘Hey Dee Ho’ and spend a year focusing on me, trusting in me for finances and getting ready to go to Africa again.”

Wow, ok. So I get home and start to think maybe I just made this up, maybe I just desire to quit my job because it has been hard and because I really want to do something I enjoy more – singing to children – Hey Dee Ho. But next day I go along to church and someone comes over to me and says we are starting a small group that will meet hopefully once a month with a focus on overseas mission and I think you should be a part of it.

 So confirmation No1; that God had said what he had said and that it wasn’t just my own will or imagination.

But again I was like, “Ok God if this is really you speaking to me, when I speak to the person in charge of Hey Dee Ho, make it clear it’s your will.” 

So I go up to the worker of Hey Dee Ho and just mention that “I’m interested in being a presenter, and I ask whether there was a job opportunity for next year.” And  she looked at me gob smacked for a second then said I was just saying to my head office the other day that I really needed another presenter and I just know you are perfect for the job, you’ve pretty much got it. You still will have to hand in your resume and have an audition but I don’t see you having a problem.” So that was confirmation No2. 

But quitting my job isn’t just some easy thing to do so I still don’t do anything and it gets to the end of October and our young adults at my church are having a one day retreat that I just know I have to go to. And a speaker I know really well comes along and speaks 3 talks that all speak into my situation.  And in the last aspect of the day some closing worship song, get this, during ‘the Desert song’ someone comes up to me and says I have words from God for you I don’t really know what they mean but you will because they are for you,

“The time is coming and the time to go is now, you maybe said and people won’t get it but you will lead my people and I’ve got your back.” 

WOW its one thing to hear God speak through sermons and through the bible but to have someone come up to you and say I have words from God for you. God is a personal God!! And the coolest thing was that as soon as she had said this she walked away and I was left to process stuff and the last verse of the desert song came on

“This is my prayer in the harvest, when favour and providence flow. I know I’m filled to be emptied again the seed I’ve received I will sow” 

Confirmation No3 And God didn’t just leave it there and say now go and quit your job, he knew that I had to process the fact that he had spoken to me so directly and he gave me a choice, I sit there and be shell shocked or I could make a decision to finally act to surrender and to act.

And so the last song of our worship session came on and the worship leader chose at the last instant to change the song from the one she had planned to, to the song the stand

And as corny as this sounds it felt like as soon as the music started I was no longer in a room full of people I was stand alone in the very presence of God and I chose to sing

“I’ll stand with arms high and heart abandoned,

In awe of the one who gave it all,

I’ll stand my soul Lord to you surrender,

All I am is yours.”

I chose to not only to stand in front to God in awe of him but to take a stand and leap of faith to obey what he had told me to do even though it made no logical sense. I resigned from work that coming Wednesday

And God gave me another song as part of our conversation,

Walk On The Water lyrics
Songwriters: Crosby, Josh; Muckala, Dan; Waddell, Brittany Nicole;

You look around, staring back at you
Another wave of doubt, will it pull you under? You wonder
What if I'm overtaken? What if I never make it?
What if no one's there? Will You hear my prayer?

When you take that first step into the unknown
You know that He won't let you go

So what are you waiting for? What do you have to lose?
Your insecurities, they try to hold to you
But you know you're made for more, so don't be afraid to move
Your faith is all it takes, and you can walk on the water, too

So get out, and let your fear fall to the ground
No time to waste, don't wait, and don't you turn around and miss out
Everything you were made for, I know you're not sure
So you play it safe, you try to run away

If you take that first step into the unknown
He won't let you go

So what are you waiting for? What do you have to lose?
Your insecurities, they try to hold to you
But you know you're made for more, so don't be afraid to move
Your faith is all it takes, and you can walk on the water, too

Step out, even when it's storming
Step out, even when you're broken
Step out, even when your heart is telling you
Telling you to give up

Step out, when your hope is stolen
Step out, you can't see where you're going
You don't have to be afraid
So what are you waiting, what are you waiting for?

So what are you waiting for? What do you have to lose?
Your insecurities try to hold to you
You know you're made for more, so don't be afraid to move
Your faith is all it takes, and you can walk on the water
Walk on the water, too